How to Give a Killer Bridesmaid Speech

Just thinking about delivering a speech at the wedding is enough to make your palms sweat and your stomach flip. 

You wonder, “how am I supposed to give a heartfelt bridesmaid speech and make people laugh when my hands are shaking violently, and I might pass out?”

Here’s the thing: it’s all about preparation. 

Follow these tips and who knows? You may become so good at giving speeches that a TED Talk is next.

Start Writing Your Speech

The trick to writing a speech is… start. Just start writing. The sooner you begin, the more time you’ll have to tweak and refine it. 

Most speeches are about three to five minutes long, between 500 and 800 words.

Your speech should be structured and have a beginning, middle, and end. 

Speeches that evoke emotion—they make people laugh or cry—are best. They’re the ones that people remember.

Here’s an idea of how to structure your speech:

• Introduce yourself and your relationship to the bride
• Share a story (funny, heartfelt…) that shows the bride’s character
• Speak about the relationship: perhaps when she told you she knew he was the one
• Conclude with a wish or some advice for the newlyweds
• Offer a toast and encourage everyone to join.

The formula is relatively simple: Try to think of a situation that illustrates these points. Use humor and details to stir the guests’ imaginations and bring your speech to life in their minds.

Make sure the speech is appropriate—the goal is not to offend. You don’t want to discuss old relationships, wild parties, or generally questionable behavior.

You also don’t want to make it all about the bride. It’s important to mention the groom as well, perhaps by discussing all the ways they complement each other, or maybe how the bride’s life became infinitely better after meeting him.

Preparation is Key

Once you’ve written a speech that you’re happy with, the next step is to practice it.

Ideally, practice until you’ve memorized the whole thing.

Practice the speech throughout the day. Practice while you’re commuting, run through it on your lunch break, and practice it at home while pretending you’re delivering it at the wedding.

You want to get to the point where you’re comfortable giving the speech without sounding stiff or robotic.

It can be really helpful to videotape yourself, and then watch it back. You can also practice in front of loved ones and get constructive feedback from them.

As you practice, here are some important things to be aware of:

• Speak slowly—when nervous, many rush their speech
• Use storytelling tricks like dramatic pauses, or your best impression of the bride
• Consider your posture—stand straight with shoulders back to demonstrate confidence (even if you don’t actually feel that way…)
• Be mindful that when it comes time to deliver the speech, rather than look down, it’s important to make eye contact and scan the room
• Try not to fidget

The more you practice, the better it will be.

Handling Nerves

On the day of, knowing that the speech is coming is enough to make anyone tense. 

Take deep breaths, and spend a moment or two beforehand reapplying lipstick, checking to ensure nothing is in your teeth, and checking to ensure you look your best.

Though it may be tempting to knock back a few glasses of champagne beforehand, don’t.

Bring a cue card if you’re worried you may freeze and forget everything, and have a glass of water nearby.

You may have heard about that trick, the one where you pretend the audience is in their underwear…it’s up to you whether or not you want to take it there. If it helps, why not, right?

Regardless, just remember: everyone is rooting for you.

Focus on the bride and groom—sometimes just seeing your best friend’s beaming face is enough to erase all nerves, and bring you back to the present moment.

The more you’ve practiced, the easier it will be. So do yourself a favor and spend all the time required to get it right. 

Then, once it’s done, you’re free to let your hair down and celebrate however you see fit.

Conclusion:

Giving a killer bridesmaid speech is all about using real-life examples and anecdotes to bring the bride’s character to life. 

Then practice it until you’ve memorized the whole speech. 

When sharing it with the wedding guests, take a deep breath, stand tall, and speak confidently and clearly. You’ve got this!